when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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