even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
