this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
