well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
