If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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