You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
