I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
