is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
