I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
