Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
