the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize