YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize