You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
