My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My liver is preforming stress tests.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize