dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
