Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
