I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
