oh god the rape fog is back!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
