Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
