ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
