I wish I could punch you in the face.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
