tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
