I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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