If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
