Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
