I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
