I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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