im about as happy as oj after his trial
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
