ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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