oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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