another moral hangover. fuck.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
