im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
