Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
