I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
