Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
