My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
