i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
