Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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