I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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