Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
