They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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