im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
