Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
