Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
