Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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