so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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