Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
