Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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