he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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