I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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