is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
