Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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