PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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