I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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