the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
