I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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