It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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