and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize