so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
