There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
